Settling in

Wow, it has been two weeks since my last post. Well, a lot has happened in the past two weeks. For all of you out there who have been craving a sense of what life is like as an expat in China, well here it goes.

First of all a routine is key. Now, that all the major fall holidays (in China) have passed, and we have healthy kids, the daily routine of getting out the door at 7:30 to walk to the bus stop is a smooth as it could be... Get kids up, feed kids, dress kids, load back packs, make snack, fill water bottles, baby in a stroller, then go. After dropping off the boys, ER and I go for a walk or a run. Then I get my self together for some activity. Since I started feeling settled, I have been able to work on my list of self improvements. Monday- digital photography, Tuesday and Thursday mornings are a mommy and me class with ER. Tues/Thurs afternoon I have my mandarin tutor. Wednesday morning is my parenting with love and logic class. Also, I am a room parent in JP's class and a class photographer for AC's class... I am at the bus stop everyday picking up my boys with the little sister feeling like a normal human being because I have not spent the day cleaning but have done something to enrich my mind and/or body. We have an hour of homework each night and I cook. I have cooked more in the past 3 months than I think I have in the past 3 years.

Over achieving you say, not really. The key to being able to do all this is having help at home, which is one of the major benefits of being an expat in China. Let me give you an example. Before coming to China, I bought JPs uniform pants from Lands end. I purchased five pairs figuring one pair a day for five days, with laundry once a week. Well, I have yet to open 3 pairs of pants because laundry is completed every day. Steve jokes that he has only worn two pairs of underwear in China!!!! We are now enjoying two authentic home cooked Chinese meals a week complements of our Ayi. So, for those of you out there, who have been toying with the idea of becoming an expat, it is quite an experience with some nice benefits. Right now, we are used to the hassles of the the grocery store, the inefficient processes and the masses of humanity. It is just China.

It 's a great pumpkin!

So, anyone who knows us, knows that Halloween is a big deal in the Laughlin household. I am not sure how that came to be. Something about having two busy boys, costumes, mummies scary things and candy. It has the perfect appeal. I am serious, I think it rivals Christmas and wins. The excitement here is palpable. So, the day the calender gets moved on Oct. 1st, let the excitement begin. I am sure all of those still in Somerset Meadows breathed a sigh of relief this year, as the pressure to get decorations out early is off. Thankfully, unlike the US, the stores are not loaded up with Halloween items in September, tempting my feverish children.

Yes, I did pack and ship Halloween decorations. Not all of them, as JP reminds me. We are waiting for the arrival of "the man who takes off his head," not sure if he will make it past customs, but we will see. So we decorated the house with Halloween lanterns and plenty of bugs. What is missing... besides "the guy who takes off his head.?" A pumpkin!!!! Right!

I have heard that pumpkins are a bit scarce and may go quickly, so I was pleased with myself yesterday when I saw pumpkins at Carrefour, our local grocery super store. They are little more like gourds, not quite as orange, but good enough. So I found a nice specimen, with a good topper, and placed him in my cart to continue my shopping. It was expensive, about $20, but I have grown my own pumpkins for the past 4 years and it is part of what makes Halloween fun for the kids. If I knew what a spectacle I would become, I may have rethought my purchase.

So, I am cruising through the store getting other items, and some of the employees start to follow me. That is odd, I thought but then I realized they wanted to look at my pumpkin. They point, chuckle and talk amongst them. Then other patrons started staring into my cart. A few reached in and felt the pumpkin. I figured, they were thinking I was crazy. This continued all throughout the store. Then another westerner commented. "You sure are a spectacle with your pumpkin, they can't believe the price" Well the price tag did say 119 RMB (about $18). I am thinking they were more like, why in the world would I pay so much for such large squash which won't even be that good to eat. If they only knew I plan to keep in on my front walk area for a couple of weeks, then cut it up with a crazy face and then throw it away. I have to admit I was a little embarrassed bringing it home as my driver and ayi, as I spent about a half days wage on a vegetable.

Now that I have a pumpkin, I must get some mums to go with the fall theme and highlight my expensive squash. So off I went to the flower market, where it is $2 for an 8 inch pot. Overall the net cost of my fall decorating was the same or cheaper than in the US. More importantly, it feels like home. When I picked the kids up from school, they were delighted to see the pumpkin. Of course they wanted more..... maybe next year if I can bring in some pumpkin seeds to grow my own.

National Day and yet another market!

Like I mentioned before, the coming of fall results in a series of local holidays. The most recent of which is National Day. This is one of China's "golden weeks." A time when work stops and people get to go home and visit with family for a week or work and get overtime. National Day represents the formation of the Peoples Republic of China. The official day is Oct. 1st and this year marks the 51st year of PRC's one party system. So, it is kind of like the fourth of July to us. I have to admit, the holiday came and went. I don't recall any dramatic display of patriotism. Although, there certainly were a lot of people out and about in the city.

On Saturday we headed out for a day in Shanghai with kids. It started with a subway ride into Puxi to Jin'ang. Here there was a temple and a park. The park was nice but in China grass is to look at, not to run on. Twice we got busted for playing on the lawn, along with many Chinese. Then AC and JP decided to jump on one of those kid spin merry go rounds. You know the ones we used to play on as a kid. Well, it didn't go well. AC got dizzy and let go, then came flying off.

After spinning out of control we headed down Nanjing Rd. which is one of the premier shopping streets. However, after being here two months there are many premier shopping areas. This is the only place I have been to that has multiple high end shopping districts. And I am not talking Nordstrom. We are talking Dolce Y Gabbana, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, and Hermes.... We don't have a Banana Republic, but if I want Prada, I am all set. As for the injured spinner, nothing an Icee couldn't fix.

After a pretty lengthy walk we landed at "People's Square," which prior to the establishment of the PRC, was a horse race track. Once gambling was banned by the government it became a park and the location for Shanghai's municipal government. While walking through the park I was struck by a huge crowd of people standing by papers attached to trees and bushes. I found it odd, so I investigated further. There were one page description with and occasional picture attached, and although I can't read Chinese, I was able to sort out basic details like 160 cm. I kind of had a pit in my stomach, because I think we may have happened upon a missing persons gathering. However, I did not feel a somber atmosphere. The event really did strike me, so when we got home I did a little internet searching, only to discover that what we happened upon was the weekly "Marriage Market" This is a place where worried parents or grandparents come to advertise there unattached progeny with or without their consent... So that is why there were only a few with pictures attached!!! No actually, there is a projected shortage of brides over the next 20 years. 24 million to be exact (well guesstimated). Should I say don't mess with mother nature.....you reap what you so... end of comment. (click on the blog title to learn more about the marriage market)

Anyway, marriage is a significant status symbol in China, but in Shanghai, the independent, self sufficient woman is emerging. Not without societal pressures however. In the US the term Cougar refers to single woman over forty. In China there is the Shengu, or "left over woman" which is an unmarried woman over the age of 28...... Twenty eight, come on... if they are only going to have one child, give these women a break, and allow them to define themselves!!!!

Back to our excursion, we continued to head down Nanjing road and from Peoples Square on the crowds started building and building. So, we took refuge at the Sofitel for a glass of wine, some sodas and a bathroom stop. We were pretty sure there would be clean bathrooms in a fancy western hotel. After our little break we realized that all of Shanghai was on Nanjing Road (see picture above of the sea of heads) so we thought we better make our escape. We continued to the river. We we got to the bund we took the people mover under ground and we were back on the Pudong side of the Nanpu river....and we were hungry. So we went to the "Super Brand Mall" and dined at South Beauty, and excellent Chinese chain restaurant, with a view of the river. After everyone was satisfied, we luckily got a cab and home we went. As a bonus we got to enjoy the fireworks from the cab on the way. Then sweet dreams were had by all.

Fall is here!

The best part about having a birthday on Sept. 23 is that it marks the coming of fall. So even if I hate to see another calender year come upon me, it is welcomed with cooler temperatures and changing colors. Surprisingly Shanghai has not been a disappointment in the change of seasons. It was like a switch was turned on. The first day of autumn erased the heat and humidity that had been relatively oppressive and now each day is pleasant. I have been warned that nice weather is short lived and it will get cold. Cold!? I highly doubt that it will rival Chicago cold, but I will wait and see.

The coming of fall marks our two month anniversary of being in China. Honestly it feels more like six months. We are definitely settling in. We are finally all healthy....knock on wood. So how are we doing really? On the culture shock cycle we should be restless, impatient and disenchanted. I am not sure if is entirely true. I think AC may be feeling a bit restless, he loves school, but full days can be tough. He has been a little more whiny. JP seems realistic and insightful, but has not embraced the Chinese culture. Dad seems to be adjusting and enjoying the job, albeit the work schedule is more demanding. I am now ready to dive into language learning and am enjoying some photography. I am not ready to jump back in to medicine, but it is always in the back of my mind and I am waiting for the right opportunity to speak to me.

Don't get me wrong this no utopia, we are constantly bombarded with cultural differences that at times can be maddening. Yesterday, I stopped at the "Super Brand Mall" to make a couple of returns which went better than expected. Chinese businesses don't do returns quite as easily as the US. Then we went to a clothing store and found coats for the kids. All was well until I went to check out. First off they don't have an organized system to make waiting to check out fair for all. You line up behind a checker. So I lined up, then a local decided he was in front of me. OK, I am used that and like I said the lines are blurry. Then some guy out of know where decided he could jump in with some issue monopolizing two checkers. Meanwhile my kids start running around the store, in and out of the clothing racks. Although this mortifies me, kids are allowed to run amuck in China. As time passes, I started to get "resentful" of the 1st cutter, because now I am still waiting. Finally, it is my turn to check out and guess what? Yes, a Chinese woman shoves her stuff right in front of me, saying something loudly in Chinese. OK... so I lost it. No way was I going to be pushed aside again. So I speak loudly back, at the check out girl, who absolutely knew that I had been waiting patiently in line. More loud abrupt Chinese was exchanged, the 1st cutter who hadn't left yet, looked me... I am guessing he understood some English and realized I was upset with his actions as well, but I am sure it didn't phase him. In China, it is a free for all. If you are not aggressive you won't get anywhere. Common courtesy is not part of the culture. The lady backed off and I ended up with some coupons for money off my next purchase. I think they gave me extra, but I left with a bad taste in my mouth.

You get hit with these cultural differences and sometimes they throw you over the edge. I think I have done quite well over all. Let's see:
Kids squatting on the middle of the sidewalk to pee.
Stepping over phlegm on the ground indoors.
Having to put your toilet paper in trash can next to the toilet to protect the plumbing. ( I often forget this practice, who knows how many toilets I have ruined)
Using a squatter toilet.
Carrying toilet paper with you at all times.
Vying for position to get into an elevator with the entire family, because they will shove past
and you could lose a kid.
All eyes on the road when you cross the street, because they will run you down.

These are just some of the things you encounter daily, and for the most part, it is what it is. I just have an issue with the pushing and shoving and cutting in line. I also hate the fruit and vegetable weighing. At the Carrefour they have one lady weighing all the produce and everyone at the store is buying fresh produce. So, they just shove on through to get there stuff weighed. I have to admit many a time a courteous Chinese person will take pity on me and make it so I can get my stuff weighed, otherwise I could be there all day. I mainly try to buy the organic products which come pre-weighed because they are more expensive. Whether they are truly organic I have no idea.

So, aside from brief moments of disgust or frustration, I think we are taking everything in stride. We are off from school again for a few days. This time it is National day and the kids get Friday through Tuesday off, so hopefully we can get some exploring done. I hope you all have a nice weekend.