Back in Colorado

Hello friends! We'll we are back and adjusted. I am not sure how much blogging I will be able to do, but I hope to at least post photos so you can follow our continued growth in the adventure of life. It is the night before Thanksgiving and I wanted to give thanks to all of the the people in our lives past and present. It is the relationships we make and experiences we have that shape our lives. Keep checking in to see what we are up to.

Here today gone tomorrow

Hello, dear neglected blog followers. It has been a while since I have posted. That is because there has been a lot going on. The most significant of which was the news that after only a year in China, we will be going home. Like many things in China...we are here today, gone tomorrow. This is strictly a cost saving business decision on the part of my husbands company, but an unexpected turn of events in our journey none-the-less. So, since my last post, I have been on a mission to squeeze out as much of my China experience as I could. Which in turn, left very little time for me to blog about my experiences. I will try include my adventures retrospectively..... Look for installments on the great wall marathon, Yangshou photo tour, Beijing and Xi'an, and many more. But today is about moving forward and reflecting back a little. The kids last day of school was yesterday. Our movers came this week to pack our things and put them on a slow boat from China. So, I am sitting here in a pretty empty house, with sleeping children thinking, what a wild ride.

So, what is it about this experience that was so memorable. Obviously, experiencing a new culture and understanding the differences between people has been enlightening. Seeing new places and trying new foods has been adventurous. But, what I didn't expect to experience so intensely has been the expat community. In just a short 10 months, I have made friends that will last a life time. I have laughed and cried with people that I haven't known for my entire life. Something about bringing people together in a challenging environment creates such a powerful force of friendship.

Moving to Shanghai has been a lot like your freshmen year in college. You don't know what to expect. You are thrown together with a diverse group of people and you make it work. Now don't get me wrong, it is not all rosy. Just as some college kids don't make it through with the new found freedoms... grown ups here are also tempted with all sorts of poor choices. For example, a mother riding a scooter without a helmet, in the middle of the night in my compound.... the end result.... tragedy. Something about not having laws for things seem to make it OK to use poor judgement. Despite this, the environment here has been positive and nurturing. As an adult you need to stick to your values and open your heart to those around you.

So for many reasons I am happy and for many reasons I am sad...But I look forward not back and have faith that everything happens for a reasons.

To many more journeys.

Exercise your voice

Budget crisis!!! What a mess. I can never really get my arms around the idea of the government shutting down. I also, can't quite understand why spending within our means as a culture just doesn't exist on any level. Whether it is the federal government or a single twenty-something. Americans are consumer happy. It is a little more basic in China. You buy what you can afford and you pay cash for it. It is a little weird for me to always have cash on hand, but it is also liberating and empowering. You don't have to rely on a datacap machine and you have a better sense of what you are spending. I am just starting to stop calculating the exchange in my head when I go to the store.

But this post isn't about spending.... I was moved today by a simple event. A simple concept. One that does not exist here in China. You see, back in my home town of Longmont, CO. A group of eight graders have been saving up for a trip to Washington DC scheduled for next week. Because of the "budget crisis" they have been worried that their trip would not happen. So a mother of one of these students decided to exercise her voice. A right we have in our country that, at times is underutilized. It is very simple. She wrote a letter.... Now most mothers I know would go to the end of the earth for their children if they thought there was injustice being done to their child, but sometimes we forget how to do it. Or we cannot recognize something as an injustice. The failure of the federal government to come up with a budget plan is an injustice to our children. I would like to see every politician not get their paycheck on time and see how it feels. I know there have been budget issues in the past, and it always works itself out, but it is unacceptable. That aside, this is not about moron politics either. It is about being heard and that a mother's letter made to the top and was referenced in the president's speech this week. A mother's voice was heard.

What touched me, and brought tears to my eyes, was the fact that a single voice can be heard and rise to the top. I tried to explain to my 8 year old why I was crying.... Because with millions of citizens in Shanghai, and billions in China, there is not one voice. You couldn't or wouldn't rise up from a crowd. Even if there was a voice, I am not sure where it would go.... Yes, there are groups of voices, but very rarely are they heard. More commonly they are stifled, covered up or looked down upon.... But in America, "you my son can have a voice." We come from a country that has been built on that very premise and you must not take it for granted.

I feel so strongly about this, that I hope every parent listening takes a moment to explain to their child how important it is for their kids to have the confidence to speak out when their is an injustice. Our vote is our voice. We may not all agree, but we all can cast our vote. I don't consider myself politically astute, but I am an American, and I am very proud of that. Living in a different culture has made me appreciate this more than I could have ever imagined.

(if you click the title of this blog it will take you to the News article in the Longmont Times Call)

Just another day in China

Just when I thought life in China was relatively commonplace..... China moments abound!!!!!

On Tuesday's Emmy and I get together with other moms for a play group. Often times it is at someone's house, other times we meet at a designated playground. This week we met up at an indoor playground called "Lollipop" It is a safe squishy place with slides and a trampoline for little kids to play, and I am sure, share germs. It costs 50 RMB about 7 dollars or you can buy a punch card which makes it cheaper. So we were sitting around chatting. A couple of Chinese grandmothers came up and told my friend that speaks Chinese, that Emmy looks small but is very tough and stands up to the bigger kids. Of course, I knew this, she has two older brothers to contend with and she can take care of herself. Little kids in China don't generally have siblings and they do not know what to do when this small blond haired fire ball comes at them....Then one of the moms gulped..."Please tell that I am not seeing what I am seeing!".... Yes, in the middle of the play area, a Chinese woman was holding a small boy, where through his spit bottom pants, he pee'd into a plastic bag. Mind you , there is a restroom that is not too far. Even if you didn't think you could make it, you could easily exit the play area to take care of business. Then she did not leave immediately. She was whipping that bag of pee all over the place as she adjusted the child's clothing. Next she tried to dispose of bodily fluid in the small waste paper basket behind the counter. Thankfully the attendants said no way. So she tried handing it over to people behind the barrier. Really! She could have simply taken the child out. I honestly think that most of the Chinese would find this over the top. But one can never tell, I have seen Mom's holding little weenies into public trash cans ready for discharge.

The same day..... I went with a friend to get a pedicure at a salon in Puxi. We both won some gift certificates at and auction and since the Concordia Gala is this weekend we decided to go together. On our way back we drove by a bizarre scene. Now I have seen a several squabbles in China. Most of the time it is two Chinese people yelling at each other with other people holding them back. I have even seen occasional contact, which is much more frightening in real life than when you see it on TV. So, on the street corner there was about five people huddled together. There was some commotion and yelling. Then I realized there was also hitting going on. It looked to be between a woman and a man and maybe involved a package. There was hitting and hair pulling and yelling. For some reason it didn't look like a domestic dispute. Meanwhile a few bystanders just stood there and watched. Half a block down we saw a police officer, maybe he didn't hear it, maybe he did. Everyone else just went about their business....it was so weird. The entire scene was disturbing, grown people fighting, passersby just ignoring what was going on. I don't know what else to say. I know grown ups get into fights in the US. Usually, it is drunk idiots. I find it so odd when I see middle aged, average looking people fighting on the street, but yet, I have seen it many times. Why does this happen? It may be part of the survival instinct here, while social norms are still in there infancy. I don't know and I don't think I will get used to it.

The final act of rudeness for the week. I was at our big grocery store and realized I had a bunch of these stickers you get with purchases. They had collected in my bag and the due date for turning them in was approaching. So JP and I stuck the stickers on the sheet and handed them in. While doing this, I noticed the woman behind me needed four more stickers to complete her sheet and she would get the free gift, a stuffed animal like Mega Mind or Shrek.... So when my form was approved I turned to her and indicated that I had extra stickers that she could have to complete her form. She smiled, then the lady behind her stuck her hand in and tried to grab them from me!!!!!!!!! What! Like it was some sort of free for all. Kind of how they acted when the apples went on sale. I put on my sternest look, No Ma'am!!! Shame on you!!!!!.....

How will the children here learn basic acceptable behavior when they have these sorts of examples from grown ups.

Babies and Wedding Bells

Marriage and children are two of the most important status symbols in the Chinese culture. Fortunately for us we are witnessing these important Chinese events first hand. Last month Steve's assistant took her walk down the aisle, and as I am writing our driver's wife after a week of anxious waiting is probably undergoing her cesarean section.

Part 1:
Wedding bells!!!! Marriage in China has certainly evolved. What once was a pre-arranged union has for many evolved to include marrying someone with whom you met and fell in love. It remains a very important part of the family unit. As the current society continues to age, it becomes even more important for taking care of the aging population as well. There is a lot of pressure for the young Chinese of today. They need to marry, work, buy a home, have a kid, then take on the responsibility of caring for their aging family members. Not to mention paying their medical bills. If an older parent get sick, the adult child has to stop work to take care of them in the hospital and pay for the care. If you don't marry and have kids this system breaks down. The system will already be stretched since the one child policy has left many couples with the responsibility of two sets of parents. In the end marrying well, is valued here.

Back to the wedding. So we were invited to attend Steve's assistant's wedding. In fact, she made sure he was not traveling during her chosen date. I pieced together that is was very important for us to attend, as it is good luck and shows success to have your boss attend. Not only were Steve and I invited, but the kids were invited as well. They made it very clear that they wanted my children in attendance. Yes, kids are good luck as well, and when you invite the Laughlin clan you get 3 which in China is a jack pot. The wedding took place at a large restaurant. The owner was from the bride's home town, so the food was traditional to her region. The spread was fantastic. There were tons of different dishes served family style that seemed to never stop coming. It was interesting because there were definitely some western influences. The brides first dress was a traditional white wedding gown, she did walk down the aisle and what must have been vows were exchanged. I think weddings are more of a banquet celebration than a religious ceremony. Many speeches/toasts were given. Not that I understood what they were saying. There was no dancing, but the bride changed clothes from white to lavender and finally to red (the most auspicious color). Steve had to do a toast with "the other" " influential" man in the room. The guests were mixed from people dressed up for the occasion and some looked like they came from work. We stood out as the only foreigners. Everyone was extremely nice and accommodating. There were a few other children in attendance. Our kids were delighted when they each received a Hong Bao or (red evelope) with 100 RMB inside (15 USD). Emmy was a hit of the party, all the older Chinese women wanted to hold her. Unfortunately, "the queen" would have none of that. The couple takes a picture with each set of guests and they circulate to each table. There was a cake and it was cut with many flash bulbs popping.... I wonder what they do with the cake?... After the cake cutting ceremony, my kids were salivating. Thew did not want to leave until they had cake. Finally, one of them asked, and was immediately given a giant slab of the treat. I am not entirely certain that they were planning on serving it. I wonder if it was going to be used for the next wedding down the way, as they started pulling up the decorations and flowers while the party was still underway. One thing is certain, we share the same basic qualities. We enjoy sharing in the joyous moments of marriage, gazing at the beautiful bride and groom, laughing with friends and family that we may not see often enough. Appreciating the joy and laughter of children. It was a wedding, different, yet the same.

Part two: Baby watch
Steve has been out of town for the past week, but I have been on baby watch all week. Tony our driver is expecting the birth of their son. Now, Tony has been a great asset. He drives reasonably, he is always nearby and he loves the kids. His English is not so hot, but we communicate. I had a hard time figuring out what the birthing process is in China. I knew the baby was coming soon, because I got an email saying he was going to be off last week. But I couldn't decipher the process as he kept coming to work. From last Monday he said "wife at hospital" ...OK... no baby, but no concern that there was anything wrong. Then he said "Thursday", I didn't know they could predict this type of thing (except me, long story) so I said "cut" and he seemed to understand and nodded. I was delighted because that was Emmy's birthday. Fri/Sat. came no baby. "Wife in hospital, no", what I think he indicated were contractions. Then when I came out from the Gym this morning, he had a big grin. "Baby this afternoon!!!!!!" again, what I think is cesarean. So, all in all, I think I pieced together that maybe her due date was Thursday, it seems like they monitor the mother closely right around the due date. I am not certain if she slept at the hospital for the past week, or that she just goes there everyday to check in and maybe walk around or get in line for the C-section. I will have to investigate further. In the mean time, I will pray for a healthy baby boy and safe delivery. Obviously, I sent him away immediately when the baby's coming was here. He says he will be back to work on Friday??????? I don't know, I told him he should stay home longer, we shall see. I did enjoy shopping for the little guy. I bought a bunch of cool stuff, that I think were essential. They may look at them and think I was crazy especially since everything was from western shops full of imported items. You can't go wrong with buying things to keep babies warm here. All little ones look like the Michelin man, darned in puffy snow clothes and wrapped in blankets etc.. I figure better to spoil the little one when he doesn't know it. This will likely be their only child, best to enjoy every precious minute!!!!

Birthday Madness

I am not going to apologize any more for not blogging as much as I want to. Life in China is all consuming. Since I last wrote, we have been to Singapore and Indonesia. Steve is traveling all over the world. We successfully completed our first pinewood derby (with a pretty good showing, I must say). We survived Anderson's "home" birthday. You see when you are 5 birthdays are the most important day in one's little life. AC is a New Years Eve baby, so he got to party at school before Christmas, then he partied hard in Thailand. Then we had 18 little nuggets over at our home in Shanghai jumping and going wild last weekend. Only to be followed by an even bigger birthday...baby Emmy turned 2 today. The boys are ecstatic. They still view their baby sister as the biggest gift God has ever bestowed on them....And let me tell you, the Queen knows it. You see, she is not a princess, she commands attention, she knows what she wants, she does not except failure. She is the Queen. So, what did we have in store for miss Queen today.

The day started with a new birthday outfit that clearly delineates her new status as a two year old. This was followed by a small birthday celebration at her weekly art class. I brought cookies and we all sang to her. Then it was time for a day out at the barbie store with her best gal pals. Mom, auntie Chalmette and her daughter Ava. Let me tell you this is no ordinary Barbie store. This is the first ever barbie flagship store. Modeled after the American girl store in the US. Of course it is dripping with barbie, fashion, bright lights, play areas, a dress up center and of course a runway. I am a little concerned that the barbie store is not catching on here, because both times I have been there the place is empty. Which means more room for me and Emmy to frolic and play. Seriously, there were probably 20 employees and us. Which makes for a fabulous worry free afternoon for mom. We did a little browsing and playing, but when we found the dress up clothes, there was no stopping these little girls. Even at the fresh young age of two, the queen knows where to go.........the shoe area. So much fun trying on new outfits and shoes, even a wig or two. Then strutting our stuff down the runway. There is even a cafe, so we had our pink drinks (strawberry milkshakes for the little's and pink lemonade for the mommas.) The girls were a little too busy to bother with food, but anyway. A great time was had by all. Another reason why I don't think the store is catching on. Everything was on sale. So with barbies less than a 100 RMB, we could not go wrong.

Tonight we are off to the cub scouts family night dinner then tomorrow the kids are off school....again. I am not sure what we are going to do, but I am sure I will come up with something. This weekend we have basketball. Oh yeah and I forgot about swim lessons on Friday. There is never a dull moment in Shanghai with three kids. You ought to try it, if you are feeling bored!!!!!!!

Happy New Year!

Well, my friends things are hopping in China....bu dum bump!!! I am sorry, that was bad. Yes it is the coming of the New Year ....the year of the rabbit. Which means utter chaos here as the country prepares for the massive shifting of people from one area of the country to another. The next couple of weeks are like Christmas here for the Chinese. The landscape is decorated with lanterns of red and gold. There are massive rabbits all over the place. There is even a really tall white one that follows me around, his name is Harvey ..... Sorry, I am full of bad jokes and references today. Imagine the travel at Christmas in the US and multiply it by a few more million. People wait for hours in line to get train tickets etc.. For a lot of people who come to Shanghai in hopes of work and prosperity, this may be the only time they see there loved one's in a year. Not infrequently this may be the one time a year to see their only offspring, who are commonly left with the grandparents to rear. Of course they are expected to bring money and gifts back with them to show off their success. It can actually be quite draining for those that travel. There is a lot of pressure to come back with the product of their hard work. Not to mention the pressure to find a spouse and produce that single offspring.

I don't know, for the young Chinese of this newer generation, it has to be tough straddling these two different worlds. I read an article today with these types of stories. A young hairdresser traveled for over a day to get to her Auntie's house just to be greeted by a slew of her aunties friends excitedly grasping various hair dyes and permanents. She worked through the night for free, traveling the next day to her home town, just to be greeted in the same fashion.

What do we expats do for Chinese New Year? That's right....get the heck out of here. I was told right when we arrived that unless I enjoy hanging with millions of Chinese people and listening to fireworks go off all night, every night it would be a good idea to get out of here. (There are actually fireworks going off right now, as I am writing.) So I am taking the advice of wise expats before me and we are off to Singapore and Indonesia. Yes, the kids get yet another week off school in observance of the year of the rabbit. They also got to have another classroom party to celebrate. Private school, reminds me when I was a kid. We got to have all sorts of parties and activities to celebrate different holidays. So, I show up at JP's class to help with his Chinese New Year party yesterda, and he comes up to me and grins. "Mom, look at my wiggly tooth." "Hmmm let me see I say....then I yanked it out!!!!" Am I a bad mom? I couldn't help myself. It was just hanging there asking to be pulled. I am the daughter of a dentist you know.

With that I will sign off, I need to put my edentulous son to bed. Xing nian kuai le!!! or Happy New Year

Fitness, it is not just a New Year's resolution

Welcome to the New Year and the age old list of resolutions. Fitness related resolutions probably being some of the most common. I have never been big on resolutions because they are a set up for failure. So I am not saying I am going to get fit in the New Year. I do however have a little more time to think about staying healthy than I did in my pre-China life. I used to be quite healthy in my 20's I have run several marathons I would go to the gym regularly....then came the kids. Something happens when you have children and you no longer worry on about your well being, but the total health inside and out of your kids. Seriously, you know when your kids eat, sleep, jump or poop. Then you wake up one day and realize you chose their needs over going to the gym or hitting the pavement with your running shoes. For me, I am lucky, because I don't need exercise to manage my weight....but what about the other benefits from exercise; bone health, cardiovascular conditioning, muscle mass. I would say it is easier to have weight loss as a goal for exercise than hoping your bones are staying strong. I have sat across many a patient expounding the benefits of exercise, while I have barely been able to carve out a slice of time to partake in it myself. Because I am slim, no one would dare call me a hypocrite. Don't get me wrong, I am no couch potato as any of you who know me can attest, but as I start to look middle age in the face there are a few things that I know will pay off later down the road. You see I want to enjoy feeling good for a long time. I have the luxury of learning from other's experiences as an arthritis specialist. Bottom line"it ain't fun getting old." So the big question is how do I preserve a level of fitness that will take me sailing into my later years.

As we age we lose flexibility and muscle mass with that comes a decline in proprioception or knowing where our body is in space. Which is why older people are deathly afraid of falling because the don't get the same feedback from their muscles and tendons than they did when they were younger. They can't catch themselves when they start to fall and go down like cut tree.....TIMBER!!!

I actually took my previous level of fitness for granted. Now, three kids later it is time to get back into gear while the window is still open.

So what would be the perfect combination? I think a mixture of strength training, aerobic conditioning along with regular stretching....... Yes I said stretching. If we don't start stretching now you may never get to where you want your muscle to be. Ask Steve, he is working with a therapist for his back who has been stretching that 6 foot 6 body all over the place.....The man can touch his toes!!!!! And he feels better.

I started last week with a weight lifting class at the gym, it is no pressure and I can choose my own resistance. I was pretty sore, but it seems to be going ok. Then today, I did it. I went to my first Zumba class. I was a disaster, but the music was fantastic and it was fun. Could I get my heart rate up higher if I went for a run, sure. But there is something to be said about getting your arms up above you head and moving your hips that you just don't get with running. I have to admit I was cursing my 3 pregnancies a little as we were jumping around....note to self....go the the bathroom before Zumba!! Now here is the cherry on top that makes getting fit in China much better. It is called the Thai massage and it is less than 20 bucks for an hour baby. They crawl on your back, knead the muscles stretch you like a rubber-band and it is dirt cheap.

So there you have it. I challenge each of you to stop and take a look at your current level of fitness and your age. If you are getting close to your forties like me, now is the time to get into gear and lay down some healthy habits that will pay off dividends in the future.

Shanghai Tai Tai in Thailand

Well my kittens, it has been a month since my last post. Maybe it is because I have 3 small children and just spent my first holiday season in China. Unfortunately, I had a lot of blog ideas in the past few weeks, but the ideas seemed to be erased by the sun an fresh sea air of Thailand. So instead of a quirky Chinese experience I will give you an update of how we spent Christmas numero uno in Shanghai. First I had to be ultra organized in getting my shopping and cards done early. Steve made a trip to the US in November and took care of the wrapping and mailing of cards and gifts. I highly recommend early shopping, it takes some of the stress out. I also recommend getting your husband to do some of the leg work in the gift giving department. Check that off my list.

The end of 2010 at Concordia elementary was packed full. Anderson had his "school birthday", which entails cupcakes and goody bags as well as being king for the day. The boys had Christmas music programs on two consecutive evenings. The best part is that they go to a christian school so they actually get to sing songs about the birth of Jesus...you know he is the reason for the season. It was a little nostalgic to when I was a kid, when we were a little less hyper about separating religion from public school. This was followed by planning and executing a successful Christmas party for Jackson's class as one of the room mom's. Soccer ended with an exciting tournament. Jackson's team, which did not show too much world cup readiness, was on fire for the the first time which landed them in the finals. The games are short, and the score was 0-0. Then one of Jackson's teammates accidentally touched the ball with his hand, giving the other team a free kick near the goal......Jackson was goalie.... the kid kicked it....it went high.... jump!!!!! SCORE.....JP's team lost, but a good time was had by all, and we were so proud of how much the boys had improved.

Christmas break finally came with much anticipation. For the kids the dream of presents and gifts from Santa. For mom, the idea of getting away from China, was just what the doctor ordered. First I had to figure out what to do with the first half of the break. I have a hard time with the idea of spending Christmas in a hotel some where, so we did not plan our escape until Xmas day. I have to say there are a lot of cool conveniences in the expat world. I learned that there was a camp in my compound for Xmas break. The kids loved it, they played, swam, did crafts and sports. It was perfect and they had more fun than I could have come up with on my own especially since most expats vacate China for any extended holiday. We did have to make some adjustments to our family traditions: Instead of doing gifts on Xmas morning we opened presents on Christmas Eve, (let me tell you the kids weren't upset about this one.) I didn't get to prepare a lavish meal for a large group, (I wasn't too upset about this one either). We instead went to a very nice traditional Chinese restaurant for lunch with a wonderful family from New Zealand. The kids got to see a cool holiday model train and we had the fun of being together.

After an early wake up call on Christmas morning we enjoyed Santa's generous gifts then it was off to the airport for an 8:30 am flight to Phuket, Thailand. The trip was fantastic. We snorkeled, speed boated, explored the island's Buddhist temples, road elephants and enjoyed the ocean and swimming pools. The Thai people are so wonderful and love children. It is a place we would definitely return to. We also celebrated AC's 5th birthday in style at a New Year's Eve party to remember. Our resort hosted a huge party with entertainment, fabulous food and fireworks. The only downside was that we had an even earlier wake up call the next morning in order to catch our 7:30 am flight back to Shanghai. It was weird coming back to China. We were only gone one week, but it felt like longer. I am thankful for Skype, which allowed us to catch up with family on New Year's Day. The holiday season was such a bustle, it wasn't until Jan. 1 that I realized how much I missed spending the holidays with family. Being able to see faces on the computer helps.

With the coming of the new year I feel blessed for so many things. Every member of the Laughlin family has had tremendous personal growth in 2010. I am looking forward to what 2011 has to offer.

Oh....what does the title of this post mean. Tai tai is wife in Chinese.... I am a Shanghai Tai Tai....Love it!!!!