Babies and Wedding Bells

Marriage and children are two of the most important status symbols in the Chinese culture. Fortunately for us we are witnessing these important Chinese events first hand. Last month Steve's assistant took her walk down the aisle, and as I am writing our driver's wife after a week of anxious waiting is probably undergoing her cesarean section.

Part 1:
Wedding bells!!!! Marriage in China has certainly evolved. What once was a pre-arranged union has for many evolved to include marrying someone with whom you met and fell in love. It remains a very important part of the family unit. As the current society continues to age, it becomes even more important for taking care of the aging population as well. There is a lot of pressure for the young Chinese of today. They need to marry, work, buy a home, have a kid, then take on the responsibility of caring for their aging family members. Not to mention paying their medical bills. If an older parent get sick, the adult child has to stop work to take care of them in the hospital and pay for the care. If you don't marry and have kids this system breaks down. The system will already be stretched since the one child policy has left many couples with the responsibility of two sets of parents. In the end marrying well, is valued here.

Back to the wedding. So we were invited to attend Steve's assistant's wedding. In fact, she made sure he was not traveling during her chosen date. I pieced together that is was very important for us to attend, as it is good luck and shows success to have your boss attend. Not only were Steve and I invited, but the kids were invited as well. They made it very clear that they wanted my children in attendance. Yes, kids are good luck as well, and when you invite the Laughlin clan you get 3 which in China is a jack pot. The wedding took place at a large restaurant. The owner was from the bride's home town, so the food was traditional to her region. The spread was fantastic. There were tons of different dishes served family style that seemed to never stop coming. It was interesting because there were definitely some western influences. The brides first dress was a traditional white wedding gown, she did walk down the aisle and what must have been vows were exchanged. I think weddings are more of a banquet celebration than a religious ceremony. Many speeches/toasts were given. Not that I understood what they were saying. There was no dancing, but the bride changed clothes from white to lavender and finally to red (the most auspicious color). Steve had to do a toast with "the other" " influential" man in the room. The guests were mixed from people dressed up for the occasion and some looked like they came from work. We stood out as the only foreigners. Everyone was extremely nice and accommodating. There were a few other children in attendance. Our kids were delighted when they each received a Hong Bao or (red evelope) with 100 RMB inside (15 USD). Emmy was a hit of the party, all the older Chinese women wanted to hold her. Unfortunately, "the queen" would have none of that. The couple takes a picture with each set of guests and they circulate to each table. There was a cake and it was cut with many flash bulbs popping.... I wonder what they do with the cake?... After the cake cutting ceremony, my kids were salivating. Thew did not want to leave until they had cake. Finally, one of them asked, and was immediately given a giant slab of the treat. I am not entirely certain that they were planning on serving it. I wonder if it was going to be used for the next wedding down the way, as they started pulling up the decorations and flowers while the party was still underway. One thing is certain, we share the same basic qualities. We enjoy sharing in the joyous moments of marriage, gazing at the beautiful bride and groom, laughing with friends and family that we may not see often enough. Appreciating the joy and laughter of children. It was a wedding, different, yet the same.

Part two: Baby watch
Steve has been out of town for the past week, but I have been on baby watch all week. Tony our driver is expecting the birth of their son. Now, Tony has been a great asset. He drives reasonably, he is always nearby and he loves the kids. His English is not so hot, but we communicate. I had a hard time figuring out what the birthing process is in China. I knew the baby was coming soon, because I got an email saying he was going to be off last week. But I couldn't decipher the process as he kept coming to work. From last Monday he said "wife at hospital" ...OK... no baby, but no concern that there was anything wrong. Then he said "Thursday", I didn't know they could predict this type of thing (except me, long story) so I said "cut" and he seemed to understand and nodded. I was delighted because that was Emmy's birthday. Fri/Sat. came no baby. "Wife in hospital, no", what I think he indicated were contractions. Then when I came out from the Gym this morning, he had a big grin. "Baby this afternoon!!!!!!" again, what I think is cesarean. So, all in all, I think I pieced together that maybe her due date was Thursday, it seems like they monitor the mother closely right around the due date. I am not certain if she slept at the hospital for the past week, or that she just goes there everyday to check in and maybe walk around or get in line for the C-section. I will have to investigate further. In the mean time, I will pray for a healthy baby boy and safe delivery. Obviously, I sent him away immediately when the baby's coming was here. He says he will be back to work on Friday??????? I don't know, I told him he should stay home longer, we shall see. I did enjoy shopping for the little guy. I bought a bunch of cool stuff, that I think were essential. They may look at them and think I was crazy especially since everything was from western shops full of imported items. You can't go wrong with buying things to keep babies warm here. All little ones look like the Michelin man, darned in puffy snow clothes and wrapped in blankets etc.. I figure better to spoil the little one when he doesn't know it. This will likely be their only child, best to enjoy every precious minute!!!!